OTTAWA — A shocking report from Canada’s spy agency, CSIS, reveals that for many months Iran has been manufacturing chocolate eggs containing cheap plastic toys intended for export to the U.S..
“We believe that the eggs have been entering the U.S. through Canada,” revealed CSIS director, Richard B. Fadden, in an exclusive interview with Fascinating Tales. “They look like innocent candies, but inside they each contain a capsule with a cheap toy inside. These toys are extremely dangerous if they are swallowed by Americans.”
“I had no idea I was being used as an innocent pawn in an evil terrorist plot to bring down the United States,” said Linda Bird of Winnipeg. Bird’s car was recently stopped by border police when she entered the U.S.. Border police regularly use specially trained dogs to detect vehicles containing chocolate eggs with cheap toys inside.
Fascinating Tales attempted to contact Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad by telephone today, but only reached his answering machine: “Hello and good day. You have reached the personal voice mail for Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, President of the most wonderful country on Allah’s good earth. For lies about how we are manufacturing chocolate eggs for our country’s own consumption and entertainment, press 1. For lies about why we are enriching uranium, press 2. For our position on the holocaust and other evil Zionist lies, press 3. Have a nice day, because if you are calling from America, you will probably burn in hell for all eternity.”
CSIS is asking anyone who comes across one of these eggs to call the RCMP immediately, who will come and taser it.