LOS ANGELES — Should that be Madonnelina? Or Angelonna?
Entertainers Madonna and Angelina Jolie have adopted each other, according to a release issued by Jolie’s press agent this morning.
“Adopting cute little black children has just gotten so passé,” said Madonna. “Angelina and I were discussing it over lattés last week, and then we both just kinda looked at each other and something clicked.”
Papers were signed yesterday at a small ceremony at a Starbucks on South Central Avenue in Los Angeles yesterday. The location was reportedly chosen to divert media attention. There are over 600 Starbucks locations within a two-mile radius in central Los Angeles.
Jolie’s special friend, Brad Pitt, was present at the ceremony, along with their six other children. “The kids are very excited,” he said. “They’re still deciding what to name their new sister. They’re leaning toward something with a ‘Z’ or an ‘X.’ Maybe even another ‘V.'”
When asked how he felt about Jolie’s latest adoption, Pitt responded that he felt “just great. I’m inspired. I’m thinking of adopting Jen [Aniston].”
In addition to being Jolie’s new daughter, the mutual adoption also makes Madonna Jolie’s mother. “I think we’re already beginning to show a family resemblence,” Jolie quipped.
Mutual adoptions may become the next Hollywood trend, according to Helmut Scheissen, the lawyer who performed the ceremony. “The legal term for a trend like this is bos aestimationis,” he said. “It basically means a lot of work for lawyers, ensuring all legal papers — life insurance policies, mortgage documents, et cetera — to reflect the implications of the dual relationship between the parties.”
Guests were served venti caramel machiattos and cheese. A collection taken up for an orphanage in Africa raised almost twelve dollars.